Friday, 7 January 2011

Are we safe?

I don't know - we'll know on Monday!

Monday, the day that I have been dreading ever since we bought a bought with a one year safety certificate. The day I imagined someone would come along and tell us "Are you insane? It's a wonder you haven't been killed by that boat of yours! You are hearby relocated by Government Order to a DSS flat immediately!"

Yes, Monday, at our expense, someone comes along to inspect out boat to tell us if it is safe or not. If he agrees that, after one year of living on the boat and not killing ourselves, it must be relatively safe, and that though the boat is not shiny and new, it does what it is meant to do, then we will be given a certificate and allowed on our way for another 4 years.

If he decides that the tiny little bit of rust in the gas locker (where our propane is stored) is likely to kill us both in our sleep, then we are in for a rough day.

If there is something terribly unsafe that is a real threat, of course, I want it fixed and sorted - but part of me wants to slip the guy a £50 note and say "That's for you. Now, how about a safety certificate?".

I remember someone I won't mention by name scraping the inspection sticker of the windscreen of a car that had "died" but still had a valid inspection and sticking it onto his car - would that it was so easy!

Pray, chant, channel whatever saint or diety you believe in - but think of us on Monday. We need to get through this, and we need it to be cheap!

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